TVF7: Viva Las Vampires
by roxypony
Summary: <html><head></head>[IT'S ALIVE. WE'RE ALIVE.] Vampires in Vegas? What could go wrong? (In case you're new, this is crackverse all the way.)</html>
1. Vegas Day

Well, all there really is to say, is FINALLY! Man. When SB1 and I first started chatting back in September, one of the first things we discussed was how amazing and crazy and sparkly it would be for the Vampires to go to Sin City ;)

For any of you old-timers who was around in the good ol' days (like, pre-TVF1) you might remember a story called Vampires In Vegas, which was one of the many inspirations I had for TVF... Vampires taking trips to exotic locations, what could be better? Of course Vampires In Vegas was far better than my early TVF scribblings, but Im thinking it's since been deleted because I can't find it anywhere! The original author's name escapes me, but if you're reading this, we mean no ripoff!

If you haven't read Banana Wrappers (you should) the end of that sorta leads up into this.

As you may know, this story will have real insight from a real live Vegas inhabitant, StayBeautiful1 :D

The title is the genius of SB1. Summary is mine :)

This is a quick little prologue, to get started. Enjoyy :D

* * *

><p>11:59 pm.<p>

Kade lay in her dark room, staring at the softly glowing screen of her red Blackberry, displaying a countdown app.

_**DAYS UNTIL: **__VEGAS !  
>00:00:01:00<em>

Across the hall in her own bed, Ronnie shivered in unbearable delight, staring at her iPhone which depicted an identical countdown. One minute...wait, 59 seconds left till the day she and her best friend Kade departed for Las Vegas with none other than Darren Shan and Arrow.

55 seconds.

What would Vegas be like, Kade wondered. Would it be anything like _The Hangover? _She certainly hoped so. Only minus getting stuck on a roof. That could be done without.

47 seconds.

Ronnie couldn't recall being so excited for anything in her entire life. She flashed back to her birthday - definitley the best she'd ever had. The tickets had been a gift from Darren... her Dare-Bear. Hidden in the bottom of a ring box. She smiled just thinking about it.

40 seconds.

Kade stared unblinkingly at the neon pink letters and numbers on her phone screen over the LV skyline background. Ronn had told her all about it, of course. She ate, slept and breathed LV - the city ran through her veins. Kade wasn't much of a city girl, but if Sin City was as sparkly as Ronnie described, then a visit was certainly in order!

34 seconds.

Having the entire Vampire gang burst in on her birthday dinner had been incredible, Ronnie reflected. She loved them all so much - Kurda's glammyness. Paris's nerd-isms. Mika's badassery. Harkat's sweetness. Seba's dementia. Larten's well-disguised fatherliness. She couldn't live without them; Kade agreed. But it would be nice to have this one vacation where the only Vampires they needed to babysit were the macho, manly, and mature Darren and Arrow.

29 seconds.

What would they do first? Kade pondered, eyes still fixed on the countdown (_25_). There was so much to do, it would be overwhelming. In a good way - like hitting the mall on boxing day. She supposed they'd rent their car first, since they were flying in. Once they had perfect wheels, it would be off to the hotel. Darren had made reservations (all by himself!) at The Palms**. **It would be truly grand.

20 seconds.

Ahh, hotels! Ronnie loved them. So much fun. When she was a little girl, she'd spend hours in the pool. Nowadays, she still liked the pool, but she also liked the first-class gym, the flatscreen TVs, the fine dining - can you say _sushi_ galore? She hadn't stayed in a hotel for ages... but in 24 hours that would all change!

13 seconds.

What Kade couldn't wait for was the flight. It had been so long since she'd been on a plane, but she never forgot the exhilirating speed as the tin can shot up, up, up into the clouds. And the free food... yahoo!

10 seconds.

Ronnie on the other hand, _could _wait for the flight. Planes were just not her thing, she preferred the solid ground. She'd be a nervous wreck... but then again... there _was _going to be a very handsome young Vampire Prince in the seat next to her. If that wouldn't be more effective than Xanax, then she didn't know what was.

6 seconds.

It was so close Kade could almost taste it. The drinks, the food, the casino, the glitter... the drinks...

5 seconds.

_"I'm going home!_" Ronnie breathed excitedly, not waking the slumbering Darren beside her.

4 seconds.

"Watch the hell out, Vegas." Kade muttered happily.

3 seconds.

It was so close, SO CLOSE. How could Darren sleep at a time like this?

2 seconds.

Maybe she'd wake Arrow up gently. But what fun would that be?

1 second.

Vegas. Vegas. _Vegas_. **VEGAS.**

0 seconds.

"IT'S VEEEGAAASSS DAAAAAAY!"

The screams were perfectly symmetrical and sychronized, coming from opposite sides of a hall in the Prince's corridoor. But it wasn't only the Princes whose slumber had been shattered, each in their seperate rooms.

#

"WE'RE BEING ATTACKED!" Seba screeched, lurching out of bed with a vengeance.

#

"I was dreaming of the boxing day sale at Coach Leatherware!" Kurda whimpered, burying his face in his feather pillow.

#

"That decibel of shrieking is dangerous to one's eardrums." Paris muttered, rolling over.

#

"This is why we have the Bros Before Nice Ladies rule." Mika groaned sleepily. "Females shouldn't be in this mountain..."

#

"...Vacation...?" Harkat yelped, panicking. Until he remembered he wasn't going, therefore he didn't have to face the strenuous task of piloting an Escalade full of screaming Vampires.

#

"Whaadaawhat happened?" Darren gulped.

"Vegas, Dar!" Ronnie hollered in his ear. "VEGAS!"

"Oh, right." the boy Vampire sighed.

"UP, UP, UP!" Ronnie demanded, rolling him out of bed.

#

"It's...really...early..." Arrow croaked pitifully, face in pillow.

"It's. VEGAS. Day. In case you didn't hear me." Kade clarified, prodding his muscular back until he stumbled out of bed.

#

Ronn, Dar, Arr, and Kade met in the narrow hallway between their rooms.

"Why're we here?" Darren yawned.

"So... Early." was all Arrow managed to get out.

Ronnie and Kade were frusturated.

"_Because" _Kade exasperated.

"_Vegas!_" Ronnie added.

"Right.. I remember you mentioning something about that." said Darren.

"Once or twice..." said Arrow.

"...A minute..." Darren contributed.

"For the past 4 months." Arrow concluded.

"So yeah, we know. It's Vegas day." Darren summarized. He and Arrow were starting to finish each others sentences like Ronnie and Kade. Only they didn't realize it yet.

"Exactly. Vegas day!" Ronnie squealed.

"So what's the problem?" Kade inquired shrewdly.

"Well... the thing is..." Darren began, shifting from one foot to another.

"IT'S 12:03! AM! WE'RE NOT LEAVING FOR ANOTHER 5 HOURS AND 57 MINUTES!" Arrow wailed, running back to his room and crashing on his bed.

"Agreed. See you at a less ungodly hour." Darren adjourned the little meeting and padded back to his bed.

Ronnie and Kade looked at each other.

"Wimps."

"Babies."

"Pansypusses."

"Sparklepansies."

"_Cullens_."

"_I heard that!" _ Darren and Arrow roared simultaneously.

Kade shrugged, and commented;

"Um... Ronnie. I'm having an FML moment."

"Is that so?" the blonde replied with an arched eyebrow.

"Yeahhh... the thing is, I haven't packed yet." Kade admitted conversationally.

"KADEY, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?"

"I work well under pressure!"

"Good, because we only have 6 HOURS AND 50 MINUTES TO PREPARE YOUR VEGAS WARDROBE AND NARROW DOWN YOUR ACESSORY COLLECTION! AND THE SHOES, OH THE SHOES!"

"Okay. Time for battle mode." Kade directed. "Let's GO GO GO GO GO!"

* * *

><p>If you've read this far, drop a review. It's only polite :) we'll update when we can! Soon, my friends. Soon for OFL and SNS too!<p>

RXP & SB1


	2. Darren Vs Xanax

Ahh, here you go :) written by me, edited by my Partner In Crime, SB1! Which you should know by now ;)

Because I just can't get enough of writing about Vampires in airports, this is nice and lengthy. We had a lot of laughs writing this, hope you crack yourself up reading it! Warning: contains mild drug usage... XD and probably language in there somewhere. Really, everything I write should come with a language warning...

12 reviews, holy! Thanks **Milkshakes, LB54, Alysha, ferretsz, Sushi, Evelina, Wolfgal, heidi, wolfseeker,** and **person who didn't leave a name**. Oh and **SB1** who threw a review in there too ;) That's right, I abbreviated all of you. Hey, I'm in a rush!

We don't own DSS. SB1 owns Ronn, I own Kade, but unless you live under a rock you know that already. W don't own World Of Warcraft, but I do own Alpacastan which is a small country inside of my brain.

Enjoy ;)

* * *

><p>"Vegas day." Kade hissed at Arrow. The Prince opened his eyes and stared around foggily.<p>

"Still?" he grunted, snugging down under his blankets, hoping for an extra moment of rest.

"Yes, idiot! It is precisely 5:30 am. We depart in half an hour-" Kade informed him with as much calmness as she could muster.

"So don't wake me up till then!" Arrow whined. "My stuff's packed, all I gotta do is put on shoes!"

"A, there's no way you're gonna walk around in the airport with just your PJ bottoms on, so you _will_ have to get dressed. And B, it's breakfast time so roll your fat ass outta bed. My gods, you're such a baby when it comes to waking up early." Kade replied with an affectionate shoulder rub.

Arrow let out one last dramatic sigh before doing as he was instructed.

###

Darren and Ronnie were already in the kitchen. Darren was passed out on a stool with his face plastered against the table, snoring peacefully. Ronnie was whipping up a batch of chocolate chip waffles - now called Wifflewafers in honour of Seba. Kade immediately set out to make 4 perfect mochaccinos with whipped cream while Arrow plonked his butt down beside Darren.

"Snap out of it, Kiddo. We're all in this together." the tattooed Prince informed his young friend.

"You two are absolute drama kings." Ronnie chided merrily, setting down a plate in front of each of them.

"Why the hell are you so perky?" Darren croaked.

"Yeah, what's going on?" Arrow added suspiciously. "I've seen Kade have an allergic reaction at the thought of waking up before 9."

"This is a _vay-cay-shun_." Kade explained slowly, as if talking to a five-year-old. "It's completely different."

"Not only that, it's VEGA-owwwch!" Ronnie yelped, burning her hand on the waffle iron. Darren stood up so fast he knocked his stool over and sprinted to Ronnie's side. He grabbed her burned hand and asessed the damage.

"Good news, it's minor." Darren breathed after 30 seconds of staring intently at the afflicted appendage. "I'll get the special cream." He galloped off to the bathroom.

Ronnie rolled her eyes and popped some chocolate chips into her mouth with a shrug of her shoulders.

"When I was a kid, we just rubbed our burns in dirt." Kade shrugged.

"Better solution than whatever burn cream they stock in Vampire Mountain. It probably has dirt in it." Ronnie muttered. The ladies prepared a bowl of raspberries and strawberries to complete the little meal, and set everything on the table.

"What are those?" Arrow inquired, pointing at the berries.

"Fruit. Healthy. Eat it." Ronnie ordered.

Arrow squinted at her suspiciously, and pulled a package out of his pocket.

"This is why I _always _carry my Emergency Bacon." he muttered darkly, heading over to the microwave.

"That is so cool... and so disgusting." Kade breathed. "Isn't it rotten from living in your pocket?"

"It's contained in a micro-insulated wrapper. Paris gave it to me for my birthday, it's the stuff they wrap food in when they send astro-nuts into space. So my bacon will stay perfectly fresh till infinity and beyond." Arrow explained with an excited grin of anticipation as his bacon spun around in the microwave.

"That's hot." Kade murmured. Ronnie pressed her hand to her face to stifle a laugh. Darren burst back into the kitchen.

"Okay Ronn, darling, hold on. I got the- ARROW! ARE YOU USING UP THE EMERGENCY BACON?"

"I - uh - yeah? They tried to give me fruit. FRUIT, Darren. What would you have done?" Arrow sputtered indignantly.

"Just make sure you re-stock before we leave..." Darren mumbled reproachfully. "Okay, Ronnie. Let's see it."

"See what?" the blonde extended her hand, the burn had already faded imperceptibly.

"Oh, my. Well put this on anyway." Doctor Darren blustered, slowly and gently smearing green cream on her hand.

While Darren fretted and Arrow bacon'd, Ronnie and Kade extended a Gods-I-Love-Him look.

###

"So, the others have no idea about this trip whatsoever?" Kade inquired as the foursome sped down the highway in the Escalade. Darren at the wheel, Ronnie riding shotgun, and Kade resting her feet on Arrow's lap in the middle row of seats.

"None whatsoever." Arrow replied proudly.

Darren squirmed. Ronnie shot him a glare and barked,

"Spill it, Mr. Shan. I know that face."

"I may or may not have told Paris?" Darren gulped, tightening his hands on the wheel.

"You. FOOL." Kade wailed.

"Daaaarreeen!" Arrow groaned.

Ronnie removed her hand from on top of his.

"WHY?"

"We can trust Paris!" Darren whined. "I used his laptop to book the hotel reservations because I was using his credit card points cuz he has millions cuz he always signs up for stuff and all the info is on his laptop and I made the reservations and I forgot to clear the browser and then later I was eating a hot dog and he came up and asked me why he'd recieved a conformation e-mail for reservations at the Palms and I didn't know what else to say!"

"Okay, who slipped Red Bull in his coffee?" Kade groaned.

"He hasn't talked that fast since the Christmas he tried to organize that musical." Arrow remarked.

"GETTING BACK ON TOPIC." Ronnie snapped. "What did Paris say?"

"Well, I apologized profusely for stealing his points, but he said it was okay as long as I polish his throne and his iPad daily for the next 700 years and he threw in a promise not to tell anyone if I create a Facebook page dedicated to his "awesomeness"." Darren stammered.

"Did you do it?" Ronnie and Kade demanded simultaneously.

"Yeah." Darren grumbled.

"I got an invite to that page. I liked how nobody had replied to the discussion thread." Arrow smirked.

"So, yeah. Paris knows, but we're safe." Darren promised. "If anyone notices we're gone, the story is we all have Swine Flu and we've been sent to quarantine in Utah."

"They'll still ask why they haven't been invited." Kade pointed out.

"We'll deal with that when we get back! Nothing can distract us from this expedition." said Ronnie.

"Agreed." said Darren with relief. He was absolutely delighted! His date-cation was saved, Paris was sworn to secrecy, he was off the hook and nothing, NOTHING would rain on their parade now!

###

The last two times Darren had taken a journey by plane had been absolute HELL. First there had been that killer flight to Canada on the occasion of the ski trip. That alone was responsible for Darren's first gray hair. Conveniently, it had also been everyone else's first time on a plane. Joy. As Darren remembered, the trip had began with Harkat hot-wiring a airport golf cart and tearing up the hallways as all 8 of them piled into the little vehicle and just barely scrambled onto the plane on time. Ingeniously, Harkat had managed to evade security and their bags went unchecked. But there was a whole new set of problems once on the plane - and it all began with Kurda spilling his guts into the air-sickness baggie. On their way back, their plane had been grounded due to engine trouble and they'd been forced to suffer through a night at a 5-star hotel before flying home the next day. And the NEXT time, well that had just been the definition of horrific. They'd arrived without the slightest clue as to where they were going. Later, Seba got his finger stuck in a damn chair that had stayed with him for the remainder of the...um, voyage. Then the Vampires had not only gotten on the plane without Darren, but they'd managed to crash on a deserted island and engage in a fight for their lives. Had Darren known what he'd have to go through to get them back, he wouldn't have bothered stowing away in someone's suitcase - he would have turned around and gone home to live a peaceful life.

But the all of the terribly stressful memories that went along with airports would be cancelled out today, because today was Vegas day. And Vegas day did not include pestering advice-giving Larten, iPad-doodling Paris, abomiation-spotting Seba, sunglass-trying Kurda, security-guard-intimidating Mika, or golfcart-stealing Harkat.

Because Vegas Day was all about Veronica Dexter. Oh, and Arrow and Kade were there too, but they wouldn't cause any troubl-

"Arrow, don't you dare ride that luggage cart!" Darren shrieked, as the bald Prince stepped onto the contraption as they stood in the baggage check line.

"DareBear, remember what we promised? _No freaking out_. You're not babysitting, this is our holiday. If Arrow wants to ride the luggage cart, let him ride the luggage cart." Ronnie chided her man, holding his face in her hands.

Arrow stuck his tongue out at Darren and sped away, operating the luggage cart as though it was a skateboard, with Kade piggybacking on his broad shoulders, screaming in delight and swinging her purse like a mace, effectively scattering the crowd. There were only two security guards after them, the rest were surrounding the revolving doors dealing with a crowd of people who were yelling indecipherably. So Kade and Arrow were mercilessly ruining the days of the guards who were unfortunate enough to deal with them.

Darren twitched, and opened his mouth to yell, but Ronnie pinched his cheeks.

"Don't you dare. Just BREATHE. Holy tits, get a grip!"

Darren did as he was told. Suddenly, the world seemed different. Brighter. Calmer.

"This...is...so...weird." he muttered, sounding extremely cracked out. "I'm... not panicking. I have... no responsibilities. I feel... calm..."

Then he panicked.

"WHAT IS THIS FEELING?"

"It's called having a day off and just chilling out for once in your life." Ronnie smiled, planting a strawberry kiss on his smooth cheek.

"So weird." the young Prince repeated. "I like it."

"We should do this more often." Ronnie said softly, slipping her small sparkly-nailed hand into his.

"But leave Bonnie and Clyde at home next time." Darren muttered, gesturing at Kade and Arrow who were currently evading security. Arrow had sped through a gift shop and grabbed a souvenir hat and t-shirt for a disguise, and kept flitting around to trip out the poor guards.

Ronnie gently smacked him.

"You know it wouldn't be the same without them! They're our other half!"

"So we're all...quarters?"

"Well, we're both each other's other half...same with Kade and Arrow... so that makes two halves, or it it two fourths? Or four halves?" Wouldn't that be two seperate...um, things?" Darren calculated.

"This sounds like math. No math allowed on Vegas day." Kade griped, sauntering up to them. Arrow had just crashed the luggage cart and stripped off the disguise. The guards were completely clueless and were wandering around hopelessly, scratching their heads and looking for a bandit in a garish souvenir outfit.

Eventually the line wound its way up to the baggage check, where Arrow immediately had a boomerang confiscated.

"I. Told. You. Not. To. Bring. Your. _Toys_." Kade growled furiously as her man was searched by security.

"It's a..a...a...gift for my...um...cousin! It's a collectible replica of...um..." Arrow tried to 'explain'. "Hand-crafted in...uhh...Alpacastan! Yeah. That's right. And my cousin...umm...Bartholomew is dying of...um...malaria...and he needs this...um..."

"World Of Warcraft Death Boomerang 2.0 replica complete with certificate?" the guard demanded sharply.

"That's the one." Arrow replied perkily.

Ronnie and Kade snickered. Darren facepalmed.

"You play WoW?" the guard gasped in awe, staring up at Arrow?

"What's WoW-" (Darren elbowed him in the ribs) "-I mean, yes I do."

"No waay man! What's your gamer tag?" the guard inquired excitedly, dropping his metal detector.

"My _what_?" Arrow squinted in confusion. Before the guard got suspicious, Darren blurted out:

"It's Big-underscore-dumbnuts-underscore-001."

"What the heck's an undersc-" Arrow began, but Kade slapped her hand over his mouth.

"Sorry, officer." Ronnie smiled sweetly. "I'm afraid he's gotten into some Xanax and he doesn't know where he is or what he's talking about - won't happen again."

"Now if you could wrap our World Of Warcraft Death Boomerang 2.0 in like, bubblewrap or something, we'll be on our way." Kade concluded.

The check-in lady whipped out a roll of cardboard and bubblewrap and proceeded to mummify the boomerang and hand it back with a bubblegum-crack and a "Have a happy day."

Crisis averted, the gang went on their way, cruising through gift shops and displays. Ronnie and Kade combined their energy to shove a blonde lady away from the prime sunglass rack. Then they stopped off at the food court where and Darren restrained Arrow from turning a rudely staring child into a soccer ball.

Once they'd stocked up on Starbucks, Darren promptly spilled his as he tripped over the foot of an old due with a gigantic straw hat, a heavily braided beard and a t-shirt reading "I LOVE STEVE JOBS". Only instead of a heart for 'love', there was an Apple logo.

As Darren cursed at the guy and made numerous rude gestures, Ronnie suggested,

"We should ask him where he got that shirt! We could get one for Paris!"

"Don't say that name. Or any of the others." Darren grunted, dabbing himself with kleenex. "We're on VACATION here. They're dead to us."

"I miss them!" Kade disagreed. "Hey, that dude over there has a Mr. C haircut!" She pointed. Everyone stared, but the target got lost in the crowd.

"I still can't believe we made it through securit- HEY WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING!" he shrieked as a golf cart narrowly escaped hitting them at a high speed.

"Coulda been worse." Arrow reasoned. "Any other time we woulda had Kurda and Seba to contend with. They woulda been taken into custody in no time at all."

"Can we just get through this with no more little disturbances please?" Darren wheezed.

Ronnie frowned and squeezed his hand threateningly.

"Don't make me pop you full of Xanax! Cuz I will!"

"Can I get in on that?" Kade demanded, sticking out her hand like a kid waiting for candy.

"Me me me!" Arrow added hungrily.

"YOU GUYS, DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT XANAX IS? ITS A DRUG. XANAX IS DRUGS AND DRUGS ARE BAD. DIDN'T YOU LISTEN TO MR. CREPSLEY? IT'LL MESS YOU UP AND YOU'LL BE PERMANENTLY-"

"DARREN SHAN." Ronnie shrieked. "Shut up and drink your latte." she shoved the cup towards his face and he reluctantly sipped it, shooting dirty looks at all of them.

He didn't see Ronnie slip an empty bottle of Xanax back into her purse.

No sooner had he swallowed the last of the latte when his face glazed over and twitched. His eyes went huge and his pupils dilated, and his mouth slowly hung open.

"Drugs in his coffee, you sly fox." Kade smirked, high-fiving Ronnie. The girls just looked at each other, snickered then shrugged and went back to sipping their drinks as if nothing had happened.

"Remind me never to drink anything you guys shove at me..." Arrow muttered. "Darren... hey Darren? You in there?" he waved his hand in front of his friend's face.

"Arrrrr." Darren acknowledged with a humungous grin. He looked _anything_ but stressed. "Haay Ronners. You are the _best _thing that's _ever_ been mine."

Kade coughed loudly - it sounded like "_cheeseball_".

"Alright sweetie, people are staring." Ronnie chirped, patting Darren on the head and disentangling herself from him.

"What the hell did you give him? Was that the freakin' Xanax?" Arrow yelped incredulously. "Where's mine?"

"Emergencies only." Ronnie informed him, firmly closing the snap on her purse. "But, maybe I accidentally gave him a _little_ too much...". Then she grabbed Darren's hand to stop him from chasing after a ginger man in a read sweater.

"We are talking about the biggest lightweight in Vampire Mountain- ever." Kade mumbled, recalling when Darren got completely smashed on a half a shot of V- Whiskey a couple of months back.

"Miissster Creepslaaaay!" Darren called excitedly after the man, who hurried away without turning around.

Arrow grabbed Darren's other arm for extra security.

"Kiddo, that's not Crepsley. Crepsley's at home with the others, instead of being here, stressing you stupid like he always does. It's just the four of us. Got it?"

"Arrr." Darren grinned, trying to touch the bald Prince's scalp.

"Ronnie? Help. Please." Arrow muttered.

"Let's get his cracked-out ass on the plane before he starts making a scene." Kade hissed.

"What do you mean _before_? Kinda late for that!" Arrow groaned. Darren had abandoned his scalp-feeling endeavor and was currently trying to run up the 'down' escalator.

"The plane doesn't board for another half-hour!" Ronnie announced, examining the boarding passes. "Dar, sweetie... sit down, okay? You're making me dizzy."

With Arrow and Kade's assistance, she led her scatterbrained boyfriend over to the waiting area and plonked his butt down on the nearest chair.

"Wheeeeeeee!" Darren trilled, waving his arms as though on a roller coaster.

"Oh my gods." Kade wailed. "He's brain damaged!"

Ronnie sat down beside him and grabbed his hands firmly, pulling them down out of the air.

"_Indoor_ voices, Dare-Bear." she soothed. He pouted. "Kadey, could you run and get him a...umm, milk or apple juice something to shut him up?"

"They're selling Red Bulls over there." Arrow giggled.

"NO!" Ronnie and Kade bellowed simultaneously.

Kade darted over to the nearest food booth and came back with a little bottle of apple juice and a wrapped sandwich.

Darren chugged the entire thing in 3 gulps, then finished with a spectacular belch. His facial expression was completely uplifted, as though he'd just figured out the meaning of life.

"That was easily thee BEST thing I have EVER tasted, ever ever ever ever ever ev-" he blabbed happily, until Arrow shoved the sandwich in his mouth to silence him.

"Sammie sammie sammie sammie samwich!" he continued to sputter through mouthfuls of bread and strawberry jam.

"You have to admit," Ronnie snickered, looking at her mentally deranged boyfriend, "this is kind of funny."

"Oooh Arr." he added as his friend sat down beside him. "Your tats are so... arrowy! Were...were...were you born with them?"

"Not sure." the Prince replied cautiousy as his young friend traced the designs on his arm with a jam-covered finger.

Kade agreed, nodding her head,

"Yea, this is kind of funny. In a totally pathetic kind of way."

"Oooooooo-RONNIE DON'T TOUCH THERE!" he hollered shrilly.

"What? I didn't touch you!" Ronnie yelped.

"Nooooo. The chair. You can't touch the metal shiny apparatus!" Darren explained, pupils dilated even further.

"And why is that?" Ronnie inquired slowly as though speaking to a child.

"He's referring to two years ago when Seba got his finger stuck in a chair and it stayed there for weeks." Arrow divulged.

"He's starting to scare me." Kade noted.

"I guess his system doesn't take well to Xanax." Ronnie admitted guiltily. "I thought it'd take an edge off his stress! You know how he gets."

"He'll be fine." Kade promised. "Will you guys be okay for a bit? I need to peace off to the ladies' room and fix my eyeliner."

"And I need to get the new issue of _Ridiculous Trucks Monthly_ before we board." Arrow added, pointing to a magazine stand.

"Go ahead, we'll be just fine." said Ronnie, gripping Darren's hand as tightly as possible.

"Can...can...can I braid your hair? Can I braid it?" Darren demanded, reaching for Ronnie's blonde locks.

"If it'll keep you busy till that shit wears off." she muttered in frustration. So much for her 'make the other couples jealous' fantasy.

Darren succeeded only in turning her perfectly polished 'do into a frizzy, dreadlocked nightmare. Ronnie took one look in the mirror and blanched.

"Oh, Darren...this is...um, beautiful, sweetie! You should be Lady Gaga's personal stylist."

"Good good." Darren replied with satisfaction, humming to himself. Ronnie began to tear her carry-on bag apart in search of a hairbrush to rectify the disaster. And that's when Darren noticed the cotton candy. It was a bubblegum blue colour, in the hands of a small child who was heading in the direction of the bathroom. Darren's eyes went wider than Kurda's when confronted with a new shipment of Baby Phat fragrances. And he pursued the child and the cotton candy with the same single-minded determination of Paris installing iPad upgrades.

10 minutes later...

"Crisis averted! Thank gods." Ronnie sighed in relief, stowing her mirror and brush back in the bag and patting her recently-rescued hair.

"You missed a spot." Kade noted, stepping up beside Ronnie and finger-coming a small tangle she'd missed. "What happened, did you get gang-beat by weasels with combs? And what's in your hair...is this...strawberry jelly?"

"UGH!" Ronnie exasperated. "I TOLD Darren to wipe his hands!"

"Oh wow. Darren did this?" Arrow gasped, joining them with a fresh copy of _Ridiculous Trucks Monthly _in hand. "I must say, he's a better hair stylist than one would think."

"Noo, he totally destroyed it." Ronnie admitted. "I just spent 10 minutes fixing- OH MY GODS, HE'S GONE!"

"You lost him? Well that's just great, Ronnie... we paid for FOUR tickets!" Arrow whined. Kade smacked him.

"He must have wandered off while I was doing my hair." Ronnie wailed. "Son of a bitch, I knew I should have been keeping an eye on him!"

"I'm sure he'll be fine." Kade soothed. "He's a big boy. As long as he gets back here before we board the plane..."

"But he's _drugged_!" Ronnie protested. "I doubt he remembers his own name! We have to find him before he gets run over or raped or abducted or arrested or -"

"Damn." said Arrow, scratching his head. "Is this what _he _feels like when we go on vacation?"

"If he feels anything like I'm feeling right now, you oughta be ashamed of yourselves." Ronnie replied grittily, as the newly found panic proceeded to speed up her breathing.

"We have 10 minutes, let's split up and look for him. Keep your eyes open, a Xanax'd Vampire shouldn't be hard to miss." Kade ordered.

"He'll probably be somewhere with food." Arrow suggested.

"But check all the escalators and moving sidewalks too." Ronnie added frantically.

They searched.

And searched.

Panicked a bit.

And searched some more.

Until 10 minutes was up and only 5 remained before boarding was scheduled to start.

The three travellers gathered in front of the terminal's Starbucks.

"HE'S GONE! EVAPORATED!" Ronnie shrieked.

"Maybe he started walking back to the mountain?" Arrow suggested.

"He'll probably be there when we get home! We'll get him a Vegas shirt." said Kade kindly.

"Kaaade!" Ronnie yelped.

"Right. Not helping." Kade replied with a grimace.

"Well, what are we gonna do? Miss the flight and hope we find him?" Arrow pondered.

"I'm gonna try his cell again!" Ronnie panicked, whipping out her iPhone. She hit his number, and waited...

"I HEAR HIS RINGTONE!" she hollered, jumping up and down. "Find where Ridin' Dirty is coming from!"

Kade immediately heard it, and looked to the left.

"Charna's big wrinkley hairy...face." she gasped, awestruck. "I cannot believe this."

Ronnie and Arrow looked. And their jaws dropped to the floor.

Darren was back on the chairs in the waiting area, but he wasn't alone. Beside him was Paris tinkering with his iPad, showing off an interactive map of Vegas. Mika was sitting on his other side, wearing his Aviator shades, and tossing and catching a pair of (loaded) dice. Harkat - disguised as a child - was lying on a mound of luggage, nibbling on blue cotton candy. Kurda sat cross-legged on another chair, happily staring at the handful of new sunglasse he'd just purchased. Larten sat on Paris's other side, looking over his shoulder at the iPad map and pointing out locations of interest. Seba stared out the window, yammering about - what else? - The abomination that as air travel. Darren sat in the middle of it all, smiling and laughing like a ninny with his arms around Paris and Mika's shoulders. And every single one of them had enough luggage to last a month.

"What?" croaked Ronnie.

"How?" gasped Arrow.

"WHY?" shrieked Kade.

Then Darren spotted them.

"ARRONNIEKADE! Look who's here!" he hollered in complete bliss. "They found us! They came all the way and found us here in the plane-place! Didn't you miss them? I missed them! But now they're here and they're coming to Vaaay-gus baaaaby! We're ALL going to VEGAS. In FOUR minutes." Then he held up five fingers gleefully, and looked confused as he tried to figure out where he made a mathematical error.

Arrow, Ronnie, and Kade slammed over to the gang and death-glared mercilessly.

"Explain this."

Paris frowned.

"Well... a couple things. First of all, my Facebook page only has 2 'likes' - mine and Harkat's. Not impressive, I expected more. Second of all, he neglected to clean the earphone hole of my iPad with a goat-hair pipe brush as per my request. This declared my agreement with Darren null and void."

"And third of all, HOW DARE YOU LEAVE ON A MISSION TO LAS VEGAS WITHOUT INFORMING ME?" Larten interjected violently. "Have you no RESPECT? No HONOR?"

"Yeah, bro." Mika glared up at Arrow. "Not cool."

"Bros before hoes!" Kurda chirped.

"Kurda, in your case, that'd be 'hoes before...other hoes.'" Arrow grumbled.

"Okay, Steve Jobs-wannabe, take that up with the Druglord here, we had nothing to do with it." Kade snapped.

"Fourth of all, I WAS NOT FINISHED." Larten plowed onwards. "Fifth of all, did you REALLY think we would let you travel so far unaccompanied? You are children!"

"Naaawt really." Arrow huffed.

"And sixth of all." said Larten with a fatherly smirk. "Did you REALLY think your little scream-session at 12 am did not alert us to your activities? We have known about Vegas Day since the very second it began, thanks only to you."

Ronnie and Kade's jaws dropped once more.

"Darren was... happy to... see us." said Harkat, flashing his notorious alien-puppy eyes. "Why aren't... you?"

Ronnie, Kade, and Arrow exchanged a look.

"Ohh _Harkie_!" Ronnie groaned, wrapping her arms around the Little Person. "Of _course_ we're happy to take you all with us on our romantic getaway!"

"Really, I cannot believe you have not spotted us until now." Larten griped.

"What do you mean?" Kade snorted.

"Dude, we've been following you all freakin' day." Mika smirked.

"We - or more appropriately, they made a ruckus in the revolving doors upon our entrance which allowed you to evade capture by the guards." Larten added.

"And YOU were driving that golf cart." Arrow hissed furiously. "I should have known - who else but Harkat commits Grand Theft Airport?"

"You pushed me out of the way at the sunglass shop." Kurda whined.

"You tripped over my foot and spilled your coffee." Paris giggled.

"Waaait... if that was you... WHERE'S YOUR HAT NOW?" Darren gasped.

"He even screamed my name in the crowd." Larten snorted, pointing at his wayward assistant. "You dismissed me as a stranger."

"And he followed... my cotton candy... and got us all... discovered." Harkat finished.

"If you hadn't drugged him, he wouldn't have found us and we'd still be... what was that word?" said Mika.

"Incognito." Paris supplied.

"That's the name of Chanel's black nail polish." Kurda noted.

"So let me get this straight." Ronnie flustered. "You were going to stalk us, all the way to Vegas... and not get caught?"

"That was...the plan." Harkat shrugged.

"WAIT A SECOND." Arrow bellowed, causing people to stare. "We drove the Escalade here. Pretty sure you weren't in it-"

"Harkat was." Mika interrupted.

"He's the only one who can fit under the seat. Someone had to keep us posted of your whereabouts." said Paris.

Ronnie and Kade facepalmed. Darren hooted in laughter and slapped his knee. Arrow continued his rant.

"But the rest of you had to get here, yes?"

"Is that a trick question?" Kurda wailed. "Yes, no, I mean... yes? NO!"

"Ronnie and Kade's truck has five locks, bulletproof glass, and both sets of keys are with us, yes?" Arrow contiuned, with death in his eyes.

"...Yes." said Larten, sweating slightly.

"You couldn't _possibly_ have taken our truck then, yes?" Kade put in, realizing where Arrow was taking this.

"No." Mika gulped.

"So... that brings me to my final question." said Arrow with unnerving calmness. "What vehicle did you take?"

"Definitley a trick question." said Kurda.

"I SAID WHAT VEHICLE DID YOU TAKE?" Arrow roared.

There was a stunned and terrified silence.

"Don't make me start counting." Arrow growled.

"WE...TOOK...THE...HUMMER...I'M...SO... SORRY...I...TOLD...THEM...IT...WAS...A... BAD...IDEA...BUT ..THEY...DON'T...LISTEN...TO...ME...AND...WE...TOOK...IT... BUT...I SWEAR...YOUR...CHROME...RIMS...ARE...FINE! ALL...WE...DID...WAS...SPILL...GUAVA...JUICE... ON...THE... BACK... SEAT... BUT...WE'RE...GONNA...GET...IT...DRY...CLEANED...I... SWEAR!" Harkat burst out, hugging Arrow's knees.

Arrow patted the Little Person's head and glared at the rest of the gang.

"You're all SO lucky I have a soft spot for Harkat."

"The masses are moving forth onto the tin can." Seba muttered informatively. Sure enough, the plane had begin boarding.

"Well, it's go time, I guess." said Kade.

"It's still Vegas Day." said Ronnie with a sly grin.

"A romantic getaway with 6 third wheels. What could be better?" Arrow grumbled.

"There's four of you, so it that would be 6 fifth wheels. Or if you're still two seperate vehicles, then it would be 3 third wheels for each of you."

"NO MATH ON VEGAS DAY!" Kade snapped, whacking him with her purse.

##

For some reason, it wasn't until Kurda sat down in his seat that he realized he was actually on a plane.

"OHMYGODS. Guys. Guys. Guys. Remember what happened last time we were one one of these? We crashed like Lindsay Lohan. Except instead of landing in rehab, we landed on the Island of Evil and there was absolutely _no_ shampoo? Not even toilet paper? And the humidity, OH the humidity! I GOTTA GET OFF!"

With that, the stereotypical blonde made a ballet-worthy leap over Mika to escape into the aisle, where he galloped forth and upended a flight attendant.

"Umm... someone should go after him. Y'know, so he doesn't get arrested and tell the Government where we live. That'd be bad." Mika commented while browsing the seat TV's selection of free movies.

"Who's usually in charge of that sort of business?" Paris wondered, looking up from his iPad which displayed a comprehensive diagram of the inner workings of the jet they were sitting in.

"Darren usually...does the chasing...and the...yelling...and the...running...and the chasing." Harkat chipped in.

"Darren's preoccupied." Ronnie snapped. Indeed, he was currently grinning and pressing every button within reach; the air conditioning, the seat recliner, the TV volume, and making a "beep boop" sound effect every time his finger made contact.

"So who's gonna go after Blondie?" Mika persisted, glancing around.

"Don't look at me." Arrow snorted. "This is OUR vacation, that is the four of us. He's not even supposed to BE here. Creps, you wanna take care of the situation?"

"I would, but the gentleman beside me is slumbering and I have no business waking him. I will remain seated." shrugged Larten, who was in a middle seat between two strangers.

"Kurrrrrda come back!" Darren hollered, standing up on his tiptoes. "You're gonna miss the Vegasness!"

A few other passangers looked at him disgruntledly and muttered something about 'punk-ass kids all hopped up on sugar and cocaine.'

Then there was a loud crash, a slam, and a shrill scream. A familliar one.

"And we were worried he'd make it off the plane." Mika muttered.

"Excuse me, is this your idiot?" a burly security guard lumbered up to the Vampires' seating area, holding a very embarrassed-looking Kurda Smahlt by the scruff of his neck.

"We could just say no. Think about it! No more awful music, no more nail polish dripped on the cutlery, no more blonde hairs in the shower. This could be a great opportunity if we just said we've never seen this maniac before in our lives." Mika whispered.

"Do it." Kade instructed.

"Hate to break it to ya, but you'll still have me." Ronnie snapped at Mika.

"Yeah well, you're a chick which makes that stuff SO much less creepy." Mika clarified. "So, we're all in agreement?"

"Do not be ridiculous." Larten sighed remorsefully. "We are a family. We would not be whole without one of our pieces...even if it sheds blonde."

The security guard looked beyond mistified at this point, and on the verge of punching someone. Kurda was bawling his eyes out, too loudly to hear the others whispering about him.

"Yes, he is ours." Larten finalized.

"I am so underpaid." the guard mumbled, shoving Kurda into the empty seat next to Mika and stalking up to the front.

"Why, why, WHY does he always sit next to ME?" Mika howled. Kurda blew his nose on the seat cushion in response.

"Passengers, prepare for takeoff. Please note the safety instructions in your seat compartment." the pilot's voice cracked over the intercom.

"I don't wanna goooo! We're all gonna die on an island without shampoooooo!" Kurda howled, completely losing his marbles.

"Get your shit together!" Kade snapped, smacking him upside the head. Mika looked approving.

Ronnie took a much different approach;

"Kurda, hun you're not gonna die on the island. We won't even be going near a single one. And wait till you get to Vegas! The streets are paved with rhinestones and glitter and everyone looks absolutely fabulous 100 percent of the time. And the SHOPPING. Oh Kurda, the shopping..."

That kept him happy. At least until the plane started to move - he latched on to Mika's arm and didn't let go till the plane reached its cruising altitude, the TV came on, and Kurda became so immersed in an Oprah special he completely forgot where he was. That was that.

Meanwhile, Seba and Arrow had engaged in a heated debate over who's armrest was who's.

"This folding metal-and-fabric abomination is MY property. Get your own!" the old man squawked, swatting Arrow's hand.

"Mine, mine, mine, mine, MINE!" Arrow roared back.

"Seba, what's THAT?" Kade asked, pointing to the screen of his TV, which she'd just tuned to...gulp... THE WIGGLES.

Seba loathed The Wiggles to a molecular level. From their outfits to their dance moves, one of his many life goals was to destroy them. Naturally, Seba proceeded to tear the screen apart. This required both hands, which gave Arrow full monopoly of the arm rest.

In the seats across from them, Darren was continuously flicking through channels, and then asking Ronnie why the show didn't make sense.

"I mean first there's the black lady talkin' to the kiddies, and then the bald guy with the crazy people-"

"That's called Dr. Philprah." Ronnie grumbled.

"Okaayy... so why's there a purple dinousaur and a whole lot of singing cookies?" Darren rambled.

"Because you haven't stopped pressing the channel button..."

Darren removed his finger from the button, and the channel stopped on the PGA Golf Tour.

"THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN." Darren pronounced, bug-eyed.

"Golf, of all things?" Ronnie groaned. "Come on, Oprah is better than this."

Darren's face formed a perfect imitation of that emoticon he frequently used - D:

"THIS IS A BEAUTIFUL SPORT, VERONICA."

"But you despise golf! When I tried to watch the Houston match last week, you put on a fire drill just to get everyone away from the TV!" Paris huffed.

"That was a perfect swing!" Darren gasped at the TV. "How...how...how're they doing that?"

"We will be devoting the first possible afternoon to playing golf in Vegas, correct?" said Paris abruptly. "The Palms is located in close proximity to some world-class facilities and it would be a crime not to indulge it."

"Yeeeeah... I'll get back to you on that one." said Ronnie, rolling her eyes at Kade.

"Please do." Paris replied with a smile, reclining his seat and turning up the volume of the PGA Golf Tour.

Meanwhile, Seba had completely destroyed his TV, and was now leaning across the aisle to see Kurda's TV while Arrow happily enjoyed both arm rests.

"Seba, look! Snooki is about to totally hook up with that dude with a Winnie The Pooh tattoo on his back! Oh my goodness that table doesn't look very comfortable... she should have stayed in the hot tub with the bikers! Tehe, she's having some MORE purple Smirnoff. Oh, that Snooki!" Kurda giggled.

Seba looked exceedingly puzzled.

"Why did the mentally deficient short female roll in Cheetos?" he inquired.

"Whaaat?" said Kurda, wrinkling his nose. "Seeeba, you don't make _sense_."

"Blasphemy! I am utterly correct!" Seba snorted. "Her skin is the identical hue of a freshly opened bag of those abominable cheese snacks that Mika and Arrow often throw at you."

"Huuh?" Kurda spent a few seconds scratching his head on that one before going back to indulging his Jersey Shore addiction.

Across the aisle, Darren was getting into the golf game (if you could call it a _game_.) the way most people get into Superbowl Sunday. He'd ordered beer and popcorn from the in-flight food supply, and was noshing away happily, occasionally banging his fists on the arm rests and shrieking profanities when his favourite player had a bad swing. And he couldn't figure out why no one else seemed to care what was happening. Or why Ronnie kept clamping her hand over his mouth in an effort to silence him.

Behind them, Larten and Paris had encountered a history teacher, and they were engaging in an extremely heated argument over the goings-on of the 18th century. Paris and Larten had some very different concepts than what was in the textbook.

"SHUT UP, JUST SHUT UP!" the teacher hollered at one point. "It's not like you were _there_!"

His mind was completely boggled when Larten and Paris became too giggly to continue the debate. He requested a seat change immediately, and Harkat slipped into his spot when he left. Then he proceeded to engage Paris in an extreme match of two-player Tap Tap Revenge on Paris's iPhone. A game so intense it could be heard clear across the plane.

"Are we there yet?" Kade grunted at Ronnie. "Wake up, ya big oaf." she added. Arrow had fallen asleep and tilted onto her - he was quite heavy. He'd just watched a Bruce Willis movie - his idol - and was presumably storming a Vampaneze compound armed with mahcine guns and the ultimate balls in his dreams. Judging by the way he kept twitching and muttering, "Yippy ki yay, Muthafucka." it was quite a decent dream.

"Do the words 'romantic holiday' ring any bells?" Ronnie sighed as Darren picked up her soda and tried to count the bubbles.

"Those words are completely foreign to me." Kade mumbled, giving up her efforts and allowing the snoozing Arrow to lean completely on her.

"Don't worry, once we get to the hotel, we'll give them Pay Per View money, lock them in their rooms and hit town." said Ronnie. "We won't even see them will we're on the way home."

"Vegas Vegas Vegas Daaayayay!" Darren warbled.

"How long till Vegas Day is over?" Arrow groaned, swatting Darren's hand away as the boy tried to steal his pretzels.

"So, time to start planning our _actual _romantic getaway?" Ronnie suggested casually.

"I vote we dump them off at Vegas International Airport and hop the next flight to Hawaii." Kade growled.

"You'll love Vegas so much you won't even know they're there!" Ronnie promised.

"Ronn, we jumped an Escalade off a highway overpass to rescue Santa Claus. Just think what they could do in Sin City. Gambling, prostitution, gambling, drinking, and every other illegal thing. OUR Vampires are going to THE STRIP." Kade sighed, turning on her air conditioner.

Ronnie wrinkled her nose in discontent.

"Now that you mention it, this might be kinda bad..."

* * *

><p>Hehee, now the boys know what it feels like to be responsible for a maniac. Poor cracked Darren.<p>

Next chapter will be written with true-life expertise by the one and only StayBeautiful1 :D

Updations on OFL, TBV, TVF6, SNS, TAF, and everything in between are to come!

By the way, if anyone cares I still have not obtained a copy of Ocean Of Blood because every app on my phone and iPod as well as my local bookstore are attempting to screw me over. Just a friendly reminder to keep things unspoilery. I hope to hunt down a copy this weekend.

Stay tuned, and REVVVVVVIEW!

RXP & SB1


	3. Streets of Glitter

**TO U SUCK: **(also, if anyone other than U Suck has a problem with this, good for you. I don't wanna hear it. I'm not trying to be racist or homophobic or whatever. I have gay and multi-racial friends too! And I really don't care if this makes me sound like a complete asshole. In fact, you should probably just skip over this section. Chapter's right underneath - that's what you're here for, right?)

Oh look who it is ;) and you fucked with both of us this time! Double the fun.

Well you were obviously dissapointed that your 2nd attempt at a flame didn't get any attention, so I guess we'll give you a break this time ;) Until you grow some balls and stop leaving anonymous reviews, all we have to say to you HAHAHA, nice fucking try. Obviously English is not your first language, but if you don't understand what you're reading than that's not our problem. LOL a disgrace to DSS? You really wanna go there? You're talking to the two of the most successful authors in this whole fandom. And I'm not being cocky, go count up our reviews. If you can count past 5, which I doubt.

Anyway, judging by your persistent reviews and the fact that you've onviously been reading my stories, you seem to be in love with me. Or else you're just extremely jealous... Sorry kiddo, not everyone can be me, and I just don't love you back :/ you'll find someone else :)

PS I'm not taking advice on grammar improvement from someone who calls themself "U Suck". "Since your last glance at my measly attempt at a fanfiction"? HAHA BULL SHIT. You would have had to read through a whole bunch of stuff to find my last note to you and you probably even have me on author alert seeing as you're so obsessed with me.

I don't care if you hate my story, but you have no business telling someone else they have bad grammar when you can't even string together a fucking sentence, you stupid tit! Go back to doing something you're good at, like shoving your head up your ass. Good luck trying to turn people against us - everyone hates YOU, buttfuck.

And don't ever call me baby.

From SB1 -

Hey there, 'U Suck', you haven't heard from me yet! But here I am. First of all, come on bro, 'U Suck'? Like you couldn't have been a little more original, you should have made a more intimidating name. Second of all, you know nothing twit, you really need to get your facts straight so that I could be even a LITTLE offended by your 'flame'. Mary Sues? You really think Ronnie- whose terrified of flying on an airplane and in the previous chapter had just DRUGGED her boyfriend using Xanax is a Mary Sue? I'm pretty sure a Mary Sue is a PERFECT character with NO flaws, I'm pretty sure those are flaws. Ronnie and Kade are based off of Roxy and I, and I know we're the farthest thing from perfect. So before I let you take up even more of my time that you don't deserve, because trust me the minute it's taking me to type this is more than enough, I just want to say that you are the biggest dumb fuck I have ever witnessed on this website. God damn, people like you are just retarded. K, have a nice life doll.

Take care ;)  
>Sincerely, from your idols<br>RXP & SB1

* * *

><p>Everyone else, enjoy. Sorry it took so long.<p>

Thanks to all our non-buttfugly reviewers - **M Lina, Person who didn't leave a name, Lilbat54, StayBeautiful1_ (xD) _ThatCrazyGirl13, Wolfgal97, LOL, Other person who didn't leave a name, SUSHIxMonster, Evelina A, FerretGirlsz, Tanya Rayne, Alysha813.**

You guys rock! And whatever haters(aka secret lovers?) we may have - I think they're safely outnumbered.

We don't own The Bellagio, Transformers (the last movie was HEARTBREAKING :( or anything else you may or may not recognize. Not the DSS boys, unfortunately. But Ronnie and Kade are ours, which you'll know unless you live under a rock.

We like this chapter, even though it took forever to come together... hope you do too :)

* * *

><p>"Oooooh guyyys. The floors really are made of rhinestones! Look at the glitters, they're reflecting on my shoes and my nails and AHH! Vegas is just so Vegasy! Is this the Bellagio? It's gotta be the Bellagio. Look, those people won designer bags! They're picking them up off that spinny thing! And look over there! Those uniformy people must be the bouncers, and THERE'S THE GIFT SHOP! EEK, I love Vegas!"<p>

"Kurda, we're still in the airport, not the Bellagio. We got off the plane 5 minutes ago, remember? It's not rhinestones, it's white marble. Those people did not win designer bags, they're picking them up off the baggage claim. The uniformy people are pilots, and the gift shop...okay, that's a gift shop." Kade drawled as she and Ronnie hurried the Vampire gang through Las Vegas International.

"Oh." Kurda replied sadly. "That explains why the uniform lady looked at me weird when I asked where the Go Fish table was... well we should go to the casino, like soooon. Do they let you play with your own cards? Cuz I brought my favourite Go Fishies from home, they're sparkly Nemo characters "

"This isn't preschool, Barbie. They don't have Go Fish in Vegas." Mika snorted.

"They do so!" Kurda shot back with vengeance. "It's right beside the Crabs table."

"Craps, Kurda. Craps. Like what you find in the toile-"

"Mika, shhhhh." Ronnie reprimanded, slapping her hand over his mouth.

"Waaaait...so there's no crabs?" Kurda whined, scanning the luggage trolley in search for his baby blue Prada bag.

"Oh, there's crabs all right." said Mika, freeing his mouth. "But I'm not talking hermit crabs like at that pet store you like, I'm talking the kind that are transmitted through the acts of-"

"ENOUGH!" Ronnie yelped, dealing Mika a blow with her purse. "Do you WANT to ruin this trip?"

"It was ruined before we left the Mountain..." Darren grumbled. "Only I didn't know that, because I THOUGHT I MADE IT CLEAR THAT YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO STAY HOME!"

Needless to say, the Xanax had worn off towards the end of the plane ride, shortly before Arrow distracted the pilot with a particularly succulent piece of lemon pie and took over control of the steering wheel and performed several loop-dee-loops. Prior, nobody had been aware that a passenger jet could be capable of such a feat, but Arrow was never one to back down from a challenge. Thankfully, the majority of the passengers had been wearing seatbelts, but a few were still determined to file lawsuits. Arrow brushed this off with a casual, "But dude, that was totally sick!"

When Darren dropped back onto the floor after being slammed against the ceiling, that was the moment he lost all effects of the Xanax that had kept him so delightfully delighted till then.

He tried to summon the energy to address the fact that his companion's recklessness had escalated to the flipping of aircraft, but he couldn't quite figure out how to word it properly, so demanded a large coffee instead and resolved to let nothing else slide for the rest of the trip.

They say the mark of a good parent is knowing how to pick your battles, after all.

"There's slot machines, in the airport!" Mika grinned.

"This is Vegas, there's slot machines everywhere. In gas stations, grocery stores, even in some

bathrooms." Ronnie informed him.

"I could really get used to this city."

By the time the Gang's extensive collection of luggage had been retrieved, Kurda had stopped clinging to his motion sickness bag, Darren's mind had returned to 110% capacity (however, his vision was slightly impaired and he was unable to focus so he kept tripping over various obstacles and walking into glass.) and Ronnie still refused to speak to Arrow, apparently his little stunt had turned her off planes for the rest of her life.

Mika, on the other hand, was quick to forget the plane ride. As far as he was concerned, any trip that didn't involve crashing on a deserted island was a successful one.

Harkat had snuck a copy of the airline's complimentary magazine UP, and was hiding it under his shirt before Darren pointed out that it was free. Harkat looked slightly bored after hearing this information, and began to keep an eye out for golf carts he could hotwire.

Paris walked with his iPad held aloft, tracking down every last tourist attraction in the vicinity - since it was Las Vegas, there was more information than the iPad could handle, and it promptly crashed, leaving Paris in a shaking, sweating wreck - until Larten experimentally popped the restart button.

Now was the time for the the consummation of the voyage - the selection of the Rental Vehicle.

20 feet away from the rental counter, Darren pulled the group into a huddle.

"Alright, men. I have a task for you that will separate the men from the boys. Someone tell me how many of us there are?"

"Counting makes my brain hurt. Why can't you count?" Arrow whined.

"Because I can't focus my eyes properly." Darren replied unabashedly.

"Loss of vision is _not_ a regular side effect of Xanax..." Ronnie noted concernedly, putting her hand on his forehead.

"I thought the foul and foolish drugs had left your system, boy!" Larten shot accusingly.

"I can think, I just can't see!" Darren groaned. "Now how many are we?"

"OOH I HAVE AN APP FOR THIS!" Paris bellowed, hopping up and down and tapping frantically on the iPad.

"We have four Princes, one half-Vampire who is also a Prince, one Little Person, two girls, one quartermaster, one general, and one... me." Larten calculated.

"That doesn't tell me how many there are!" Darren whined.

"Hang on hang on hang on! iCount'Em version 7.1.5 is loading!" Paris yelped. "It will all become clear momentarily- oh, I have to register. IT WILL ONLY TAKE ONE EXTRA SECOND I SWEAR!"

"Nooo more numbers..." Kade groaned, smashing her face into Arrow's upper arm.

"10. THERE ARE 10 OF US, HAPPY NOW?" Ronnie shrieked. "I swear, I'm the only person in this room who's passed an Algebra class."

"Okaay. Now we're getting somewhere, time to pick our wheels!" said Darren with a relieved smile at Ronnie. "Hmmm...10. I guess we can rule out a Camaro..."

"We could get 10 Camaros?" Arrow suggested.

"Bumblebeeeeee!" Kade, Mika, Arrow, and Kurda whooped at once - they were dedicated Transformers fans. Actually, the first three were simply Mega-Truck-Fiends. Kurda just watched the movies because Megan Fox was his role model.

"We could rent a motorhome." Larten suggested. "Since Arra won't give me custody of ours after last the incidents of last summer, I rather miss RV-ing."

"Oh NOOO you don't!" Ronnie protested. "We are NOT hitting the Vegas strip in an RV."

"Let's make it simple and get a truck. 6 in the cab, 4 in the box. That's legal, right?" Arrow chipped in.

"No, dear." Kade sighed.

"What about those thingers that look like giant Twinkies?" Mika put forth. "I could jack up the suspension real quick, put on some stickers...it'd be a sweet ride."

"Twinkies...are...GOOD!" Harkat added enthusiastically.

"No, no, no, no no!" NO schoolbuses!" Ronnie groaned.

"But what other will hold such vast quantities of numbers?" Larten puzzled.

"I'LL LOOK IT UP! I HAVE AN APP FOR THIS!" Paris hollered, brandishing his iPad.

"We could get another 8-seater like the Ess. It'd just be a really cozy fit and 2 people would have to suck it up without seatbelts." Darren shrugged, putting his arm around the waist of 'Ronnie' - who was actually Kurda. He couldn't tell the blondes apart with his diminished eyesight.

"Oh my gods, Darren. I'm on your other side." Ronnie groaned after the snickering group watched Darren cuddle with Kurda for a few minutes.

"And NO WAY are we getting an 8-seater." Kade growled. "We've been cramped on a plane for a zillion hours, no more of that."

"We're kinda getting low on options then, unless we want to split off into multiple cars? But knowing us, that never ends well." Darren countered, still blushing after yanking his hand away from Kurda. "Let's just ask!"

Then he strode right up to the desk and demanded, "What do you have that seats 10? Comfortably AND legally."

However, he had not walked up to the vehicle rental desk, he was currently yammering to a man wearing a turban at the customer's service desk who had no idea what he was saying.

"VOLDEMORT WORKS AT THE CAR RENTAL THINGY?" Mika, Arrow, and Kurda screamed simultaneously.

"That is not the car rental service, Darren is utterly blind!" Larten sniffed. "The car rental desk is the one to his left. And in what universe does Voldemort wear a turban and have any sort of nose?"

"It's Professor Squirrel, duuuh." Kurda retorted. "You haven't read the first book, because you can't read, and you wouldn't watch the first movie with us because you were busy webcamming with Arra."

"Yeah, _Squirrel_. That's the one." Kade rolled her eyes.

Larten was saved from replying because Darren sprinted back to the group looking extremely embarrassed.

"Guys, you'll never believe this. That wasn't the car place."

"Oh you poor dear. Come with me." Ronnie sighed, taking the frazzled half-Vampire by the arm and leading him over to the actual car desk.

###

5 minutes later, they re-joined the gang. Ronnie looked extremely pleased, holding a set of keys - and Darren looked like someone had just told him the exact date of the end of the world.

"DID YOU GET ONE WHAT DID YOU GET?" Kade and Kurda demanded in synch.

"You'll see. Let's just say no one will be dissapointed." said Ronnie with a mysterious smile.

"I don't know about that, I can spot a few Vampires in this crowd who won't approach it without a fight." Darren groaned. "But guys, before you see it, I SWEAR it was the only thing that could seat everyone. There was NO other option. So don't hurt me?"

"Judgement reserved until further notice." Larten replied apprehensively.

"Maybe we should blindfold them till they're inside the...um, vehicle." Darren whimpered.

"No way! They'll fall in love as soon as they see it!" Ronnie boomed.

"Oh Ronn... I adore you, but based on experience, I just can't agree with that."

###

Once the spinning doors had been conquered (no injuries this time) the group collectively took their first breath of Vegas air.

"I can feel my lungs glittering!" Kurda gasped in delight, and continued to take deep breaths until he was overcome with hyperventilation.

"I can smell the money." Mika added greedily.

"I can smell the roaring drug trade and the out-of-control prostitute colonies." Seba grouched. "I would like to go home now."

"Oh gods, he watched the _Secret Life of an American City: Vegas Edition_ documentary on the stupid plane TV." Arrow groaned.

"Ah, it smells just like home." Ronnie smirked. "Guys, whatever you do, do not take the cards from the people on the sides of the streets."

"Why, what's on them?" Kade asked, leaning in to her bestfriend's ear.

"Naked Women."

"Oh yeah, none of those for me."

"Where's our car?" Kade asked hopefully, looking around. "I don't see any 10-seaters-WOAH. LOOK AT THAT THING!"

She'd spotted a massive super-stretch Limo parked about 20 feet away amidst the rental cars. It was a Hummer. And it was blindingly, terrifyingly, enchantingly...pink.

Arrow also looked at the target of Kade's amazement. "Yeah, wow. Paris Hilton must be in town."

"I resent the very mention of that woman..." Paris grumbled. His comment went ignored.

"Duuude that might be Miley Cyrus's. I think she has one of those."

"No. It's gotta be Hugh Heffner's." Mika argued.

"I'd guess Justin Bieber's." Kade smirked. "Without a doubt."

"Actually, folks... it's ours. Say hello to our new wheels." said Ronnie casually.

Kade and Kurda immediately commenced in a session of screaming and jumping up and down, then they bolted towards the pink beast, accompanied by Ronnie who swung the keys like a mace. They stormed the interior - Kade popped her head out the door and shrieked "THERE'S A FRIDGE IN HERE!" and Harkat sprinted over to check it out.

Larten and Seba immediately backed up, shaking their heads fearfully and muttering prayers to the Vampire gods. Paris just looked up engine specs on his iPad.

"Facing...moral...dillemma..." Arrow groaned, clutching his forehead. "The colour repels me...but it's a Hummer...OH GODS WHAT DO I DO?"

"I feel your pain." Mika groaned, rubbing his head likewise. "It's 45 degrees out here... there's air conditioning and food in there...but so is Kurda. And the pink makes my eyeballs sting."

"You won't be able to see the colour from inside!" Ronnie reasoned, rolling down one of the windows.

"And the windows are tinted, to protect your fragile masculinity." Kade added.

"And there's a TV in here!" Kurda chirped.

"A TV..." Arrow groaned. "Jackass should be on right now..."

"Are ya with me bro?" Mika grunted, staring at the Limo through battle-hardened eyes. This would be the most difficult challenge yet.

"To the death." Arrow agreed, marching forward. They stepped up to the Limo, shielding their eyes. The doors opened, they dissapeared inside...

Then an agonized voice echoed across the pavement...

"OH MY GODS, THE INTERIOR IS PINK TOO! LET ME OUT!"

But there was no escape for Mika Ver Leth... only slow, painful death by demasculization. Worse than a dishonourable stake through the back.

"So, who's next?" Darren asked perkily. "Come on guys, the hotel will have vending machines!"

Paris and Larten begrudgingly got into the Limo, grumbling like an old married couple. Seba on the other hand, screeched; "THEY WILL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" and took off at full-speed out of the parking lot and down the sidewalk.

"Start driving after him." Darren sighed, piling in beside Ronnie. "It's 45 degrees, he's not gonna last out here."

Harkat - wearing a hot pink chauffer's hat he'd found under the seat - saluted happily and scrambled into the driver's seat. Who else could be trusted to pilot such a vehicle?

Mika and Arrow piled in the farthest back seat, chugging from the colourful bottles they'd found in the fridge. Ronnie and Kade stood on the seats and popped up through the sunroof to give

Vegas a proper greeting. Kurda rolled down the window and tried to see where and if the streets were paved with rhinestones. Paris documented the ride with the Hi-Def video camera of his iPad, and Larten rode shotgun to keep an eye on Seba, who was on a rampage down the street screaming that he was being chased by demons.

It wasn't entirely untrue.

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><p>Yeah, again we apologize for how long this took... but as if we didn't have enough going on in our lives already. we're starting something...else. Something big. Something on which you'll get the details later. Or you'll get an alert in your inboxes, whatevs.<p>

Don't forget, we both have facebook pages and twitters - links on profiles.

REVIEW :) -if you have an account. If you don't...blame it on my biggest fan because I have disabled anon. reviews to solve this issue - she/he/it can either talk to us logged-in or not at all. Soooorry for any inconveniece! But look on the bright side - once we find out who she/he/it is, all of our real fans can share the love and tell U Suck exactly how they feel about her ;) sounds fun, no?

Happy Summering :)

RXP&SB1


	4. Stripper Villains

Hii guuys, 2 updates in 1 week! Ain't life grand? Anyway, I claim 100% no credit because this edition was written entirely by my fantastic twinner after she had some real-life experience on the Vegas strip :) take it away deary!

A/N: StayBeautiful1 here! Hello! Alright, I know you've probably been waiting on an update. And I'm not going to like- it's completely my fault. Sorry, sorry! But now that school is going to be starting up again, I think my writing system is like, "Oh, you're going to have to be doing things now? Well, now I'll give you a lot of inspiration and urge to write!". I swear, Roxy and I's systems are totally fucked. But, I'm sure you'll like this chapter, coming from a real Las Vegas native- that's me! Let's make our interviews more interesting by putting a little poll, I know Roxy and I would love to hear your opinions- who is your favorite character(s) in the TVF gang, and why?

Listening to: "Rich Man"- 3Oh!3 (This song really reminds my twinner and I of the TVF gang as they strut down the streets of Vegas).

* * *

><p>After many minutes of trying to get situated, the Vampire Mountain gang had settled into their new totally customized Hummer limo. Harkat, equipped with a hot pink chauffeurs hat had managed to detach one of the rhinestoned snack fridges to accompany him in the front seat. Mika- despite having concerning rash appear on his arms from too much 'pink contact'- found a new form of entertainment for him an Arrow by opening and closing the privacy shield that separated the chauffeur and the passengers and using Kurda's head to jam it. The platinum vampire didn't mind, due to the fact that he was too indulged in mapping his shopping strategy after hearing of the mile long stretch of shopping in Caesar's Palace. Paris and Larten were deeply interested in a map of the Las Vegas pipelines used to operate the water show in front of the Bellagio. To no one's surprise, Ronnie and Kade had found their way to the mini bar and had popped open a bottle of champagne- sending the cork flying into Seba's forehead and knocking him alarmingly sane for a couple of minutes, until he returned to complaining about the abomination that was Criss Angel and how his leather pants were too tight for him to possibly function correctly, thus proving the fact that he must be either vampaneze or homosexual. Darren sat in the middle of all the madness, his eyesight had returned and he had assigned himself to checking in on all the hotel reservations. Even though the romantic aspect of the vacation was ruined, he tried to see if maybe he could sneak Ronnie away for a romantic dinner ontop of the Eiffel Tower of the Paris hotel or-<p>

"Daaaaarren!" Ronnie called from sticking out of the sunroof, "what are you doing! We're in Vegas! That place that shaped me as a person. This is my home, and you need to be enjoying it!"

"Ah, so it is Vegas that is responsible for your antics. I shall be writing a letter to the mayor, even though I should be writing to your mother." Larten chimed in from looking up from Paris's blueprints that were on his I-Pad.

"Stuff it, Creps." Kade replied with an eye roll, coming down from the sunroof and grabbing another glass of champagne, laying her legs across Arrow's lap. "When are we getting to the hotel?"

"Where are we staying! You guys, maybe we'll see Elvis! Even though everyone always talks about how he leaves buildings and stuff, we could probably catch him on his way out!" Kurda squeaked, blue eyes sparkling with anticipation.

"I swear to the gods, each time I think you can't get any stupider- you say something like that." Mika snorted, looking up from his deck of cards. Kurda wasn't quick enough to think of a reply, and in the middle of thinking of a response, forgot what he was even trying to think of.

"Alright then..." Darren started, looking up from his cellphone, "we need to figure out our bunking arrangements."

"Oh, hell no!" Kade snapped, "I am not sharing a bed, or a room with anyone. Especially not Seba, he always eats my shampoo."

"It smells like strawberries!" Seba snapped in defense, "what kind of abomination smells like strawberries, but is not meant to be eaten!"

"Yeah, bro. Why aren't we staying in seperate rooms? Or like, a penthouse suite?" Arrow chimed in, staring out the window as the arrived at the Palms.

"We... are here." Harkat called from the steering wheel. The Vampire Mountain gang all moved to the corners of the neon colored limo, pressing their faces up to the glass as they pulled up to the casino. The doors were opened by the valets and each member of the pack excited their vehicle, each getting an equal amount of stares.

"Oh my gosh! The palms is so sparkly! It's so bright! What do we do first! I swear, I'm going to pass out from all of the excitement, it's like I'm choking on glitter particles floating in the air of VEGAS!" Kurda squealed, twirling around with his arms spread at his sides.

"Let's just try and get to the check in desk in one piece." Darren grumbled. Ronnie frowned and wrapped a dainty hand around his arm,

"Come on Darebear, you need to lighten up. Vegas is full of crazy people, so this is the one place where it's acceptable for everyone to be themselves."

"Keep walking, skank! Next time I catch you eyeing me funny, I'm going to take that pump and shove it right up your-" Kade snapped at a raunchy dressed woman who eyed Arrow hungrily.

"That must be one of those exotic dancers that I saw a Barbra Walters special on! What was the other name for them..." Paris pondered out loud, his face brightened when he found the word he was racking his brain for, "oh yes! Stripper!". Darren's face melted into a mask of horror as the words left Paris's mouth, Ronnie and Kade tried to stiffle a giggle while Mika and Arrow erupted into a fit of side splitting laughter as the back of the young woman's hand collided with Paris's cheek. Larten wrapped his arm around the shoulder of the baffled prince and led him into the check-in desk. A man stood behind the counter, typing furiously on the keys as the clan all stared at him expectantly.

"May I help you?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hi," Darren started, "we have a reservation under the name, Shan."

"One second," The attendant replied, pulling up the reservation on his computer screen, "oh, here it is. Yes, we have you booked for two adjoined rooms, with four king sized beds."

"No way!" Mika piped in, "if there's only four beds- that means two of us each have to be in a bed. You get to be with Ronnie, and Arrow will probably end up with Kade-". At this time, Arrow's face had become the more pink than their limo and he stuttered incoherently. "and that means, that I'll end up sharing the sheets with one of these goons. Not. Happening." Larten commented from behind him,

"I agree, I do not wish to be sleeping in such close quarters with any of you. I personally would rather be sleeping in a coff-"

"Coffee table!" Darren finished for him, covering his mentor's mouth with a free hand, the other was holding a backpack where Harkat was happily stuffed inside with a bag of oreos and other snacks that he had retrieved from the fridge. The attendant eyed the gang expectantly,

"Is there anything bigger?" Paris asked, "it says here on my _iTravel2Crazy _App on my iPad that you have villains available."

"Villains!" Seba cried from the back of the group, knocking over a cocktail waitress in the heat of the moment. Arrow and Kade grabbed the tray of drinks that she had been carrying before the waitress hit the ground. The attendant jumped back quickly, and Paris squinted at the large screen,

"Oh I'm sorry, I must have misread. I meant Villas."

"I'm so, so, sorry." Darren pleaded as the cocktail waitress started to pick a fight with Kade and Arrow for grabbing the tray of beverages and not even bothering to help her before she fell to the ground. This resulted in Ronnie joining into the conflict to back up Kade, Mika cheering for a 'bitch fight', and Seba still wailing about villains planning to take over the Palms. "Could we have one of those villas?" Darren continued in desperate calmness over the madness taking place behind him.

"I don't think so, I think I'm going to have to call security." The attendant started nervously, his hand moving over to the call button on the phone.

"Oh my gosh!" Kurda started, squinting his eyes to look at the attendant, "is that the new Gucci blazer?" The attendant's frown faded and turned into a small smile as he adjusted the collar on his jacket.

"Why yes, it is."

"It looks absolutely fabulous! It really goes well with your broad shoulders. I don't have the build for blazers. Oh, the unfairness of life... How I envy you." the blonde sighed.

The attendant's smile widened as Kurda frowned slightly at the fact that he would not be able to sport Gucci's new collection due to his lack of build.

"You know what, I've upgraded you all to the presidential villa on the top floor," The attendant grinned, placing the room key on the desktop and sliding it towards Darren. "Please enjoy your stay, Mr. Shan." Darren, in a daze, nodded slowly and took the key.

"Wow, Kurda saving the day- that's never going to happen again." Mika commented, the conflict between Kade and the cocktail waitress being resolved due to Seba knocking the waitress into a nearby fountain.

"Let's just get to the room and not make another scene." Darren grumbled, grabbing Ronnie by her hand and trailing her behind him, who held a mixed drink in her free hand.

"I think after four hours, these drinks are starting to catch up to me, twinner." Ronnie snickered to Kade who had a glass in both of her hands and was sipping from a straw in sequential order.

"Me too," Kade hiccuped, shimmying her way into Arrow's arms, "I love Vegas!"

* * *

><p>Updates coming soon! Don't forget our poll -<p>

Who is your favorite character(s) in the TVF gang, and why?

I think I'll post it on my profile too - but answer in your reviews!

Tillll nexx tiime!

RXP&SB1


	5. Ready, Set, VEGAS BABY!

Omg. Finally. An actual TVF update! How long has it been? I don't even wanna know. Thanks to our many many reviewers, you are toooo amazing :) love yahhw. I also apologizing for not getting to that New Years oneshot I was planning on... stuff comes up. People get lazy. But I'm not making any sort of New Year's resolution to write/update more because we all know it won't make a bit of difference xD

Oh hey reviewers!

**LilBat54** we love you too dearie :) the time is coming soon! bwahaha i love Seba too xD he's the funnest to write.

**Heiditiger **he went into mourning when SJ retired... and when he died, Paris just kinda disappeared for a few days. then we found him lying on the floor in the garage muttering to himself...

**shan123 **yes it's very hard being Darren xD and yes, you could say that :P

**SUSHIxMONSTER** bwaahah I love all of them too :) yes, Kurda certainly is... different xD thanks!

**PrincessOfTheVampires **why thankyah! :) here's an update :P

**Morgan Tate **I can't lie, this review was probably my fave xD yes, I agree the flamers can go die in a hole. *big thumbs up* welcome to Fanfiction! Hope you're having a great time :) feel free to drop me a message or a review any time! :D bwaha, spazzy is fun. Thanks so much!

**Evangeline Evergreen **ahhh yes, the general conflict of day to day TVF life xD and I love all those characters for all those reasons too :) thanks yeww

**VampireGurl458 **yeaah I must say, I'm very shocked that feminizing of Kurda has caught on so much xD poor guy... before I started writing, he had all these fangirls. Now he IS a fangirl... #sorrynotsorryy :D

**Preston-Tour **haahaha as long as coffee's ALL you're addicted to xD i understand, the way Harkat makes me feel better about my cookie dough addiction :P thank youu!

**ferretgirlsz **Thank you very very muchly :D

Anyway, this one was written by me :) my internet went down today so I got bored and also started chapter 7 which will be finished by SB1. Whenever xD if you want an update, poke her, not me.

As usual, we don't own anything like locations (Cesar's Palace, The Palms) although SB1's been to all of them! Or attractions (Blue Man Group, Celine Dion.) Holy eff I hate Celine Dion..

One more thing, you have no idea how difficult it was NOT to go into detail about all of their outfits like I usually do, because that would be 10 different paragraphs just to describe clothes xD I feel like I do that too much, and then neglect more important things. Ah well. That sounds like a much more achievable NY resolution...

Enjoy!

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><p>"I told them 8:00. Didn't I? You heard me specifically state that we were to meet in this exact location at 8 pm?" Darren flustered as he paced in front of the velvet couch in the palatial hotel lobby at The Palms.<p>

"Yes dear." Ronnie rolled her eyes. "Stop panicking. You know how they are. They'll be here. Have they ever let you down? Actually don't answer that." she smirked. "You know how pumped they are. They won't miss this."

"I'm not worried about them missing out on the fun." Darren growled. "I'm worried about lawsuits and hospital bills and general social damage, just to name a few. What if they steal Cesar's Palace?"

"It's a giant casino, Dar. Not even Arrow could lift that."

"Well then they'll kidnap Cesar or something!"

"Oh, sweetie…" Ronnie face palmed. Had they not been about to enter a chaotic atmosphere where there would most certainly be much gambling and drinking, she would have popped her schizophrenic boyfriend full of every Xanax she had.

It had been her idea to dismiss the rest of the gang several hours ago, to allow them a chance to explore the nearby area in their own time - a new tactic, opposed to Darren's regular approach, which was group tours. As everyone knew, this invariably led to anarchy so Ronnie had taken it upon herself to turn the Vampires loose. Because it was a true fact that they drew less attention to themselves when they didn't travel in a pack. In Vegas, maybe they'd even blend in. Now wouldn't THAT be a spectacle!

Naturally Darren had been on the verge of a coronary ever since the boys left the building, but Ronnie had successfully distracted him with a long walk down seemingly glitter-paved streets to browse through the daytime sights and sounds of her hometown.

But daylight was fading.

It was time to experience Las Vegas in all its visceral, shining, extravagant, spellbinding glory. That is, just as soon as the others showed - ah, there they were. Right on schedule.

"I'mmm having the time of my liiiife, I swear it's truuuuee, and I owe it all to youuuuuu- OH HEY RONN DAR HIIII! GUYS I'M IN LOVE WITH VEGAS!" Kurda belted, waltzing out of the mirrored elevator decked out in his tightest pair of black jeans, a rhinestone-embossed pair of biker boots, a rodeo-style bejewelled belt he'd borrowed from Kade, and a white tank top. Along with what looked like every piece of jewellery on the entire planet.

"Lookin good, K-Smahlt." Kade grinned, following him off the elevator. She was sporting a typical Kayden ensemble - blue jeans with rhinestones on the back pockets, pink and black tiger-striped cowboy boots, a solid black off-the-shoulder top with long sleeves, and aviator shades to match Arrow's.

Mika, Arrow, Larten, Harkat, Paris, and Seba followed close behind. They looked none the worse for wear after their excursion, but Mika was wearing an incredibly guilty expression, Paris had purchased a Kurda-worthy rhinestone cover for his iPad, and Harkat had apparently demolished an entire Ed Hardy boutique and was wearing the remains. They seemed to be adjusting exceptionally well to Vegas life.

"Okay gang." said Darren, standing up on the cushy footrest as though it was a podium. "I know everyone is looking forwards to…um…gambling and drinking ourselves nearly to death, but I would like to take this time to impress upon you that this is not an experience to be taken lightly. We must all keep our 3 C's with us tonight. Actually maybe not confidence because that _so _does not go well with gambling. And you could probably do without an overabundance of charisma…because that'll lead to free drinks and gods-know-what-else. So to make it easy for you. we're reducing it to just one C tonight - _control control control control CONTROL!_"

"That was about 5 C's right there." Kade contributed.

"Dear, your eyes are bulging." Ronnie gently noted to Darren, who was exhibiting all the tranquility of a cornered wild animal.

"Enough lecturing." Arrow groaned. "LET'S VEGAAASSSS!"

"Vegas is not a verb, Arrow. Although I share your enthusiasm." Paris grinned.

"LOCK AND LOAD, BRING ON THE PAIN!" Mika roared, jumping up and down on one of the lobby couches.

"Where do I find those depraved minions known as Blue Man Group?" Seba demanded. "I would like to have some serious words with those fellows. Do they not know that humans are not supposed to be _blue?_ The entire notion of them makes me terribly uncomfortable and I think it would be best if we disposed of them once and for all."

"If we're gonna kill a classic Vegas performer, I vote Celine Dion." Kade grumbled.

"It's only 8:30 and they're talking about assassinations!" Darren whimpered. "Maybe we should just go home." He proceeded to pace nervously.

Ronnie frowned in sympathy. She knew there was nothing she could say to set his mind at ease, he was just too concerned. She also knew that he wouldn't have a moment to himself all night and would spend every available second hovering around their companions and giving himself grey hairs just trying to keep them out of harms way. Even though he knew deep down (_very _deep down) that they were more than capable of looking after themselves. Darren just couldn't help it. She only wished he could allow himself to let loose, just once… like he had on the plane.

And then, she had an idea.

"Hey guys, follow me."

###

"The _roof, _Veronica? What on earth are we doing up here?" Larten groaned.

"Umm, Mr. Crepsley, we're not on earth. We're on the roof." Kurda chimed in.

"It smells like pollution up here!" Arrow complained.

"Just keep going!" Ronnie insisted as she led the wayward gang between the maze of pipes and concrete huts that littered the roof of The Palms. They rounded the corner of a small electrical building and Ronnie stopped with a grand hand gesture - "_Voilla!" _

_"Ohhh myy ahhhh!" _Kurda squealed blissfully, hugging himself.

"Not even my iPad screen has such magnificent vibrance." Paris sighed.

"I never thought I'd say this, but… _pretty_." Mika admitted.

"Agreed, bro." said Arrow.

"It is hard to imagine such a lovely city has such a roaring drug trade." Larten added.

"Blue Man Group, I know you are out there." Seba growled. "And I will _find_ you…"

Staring back at them was the Las Vegas skyline, completely unobscured. Softly glowing lights of every colour and the distant throbbing hum of the city that never slept. Urban beauty at its finest.

"Welcome to my home." Ronnie grinned. "This is the place that made me. And now I get to share it with you." She reached into her bejewelled bag and withdrew a bottle of her personal favourite, Cranberry Smirnoff to pass around. "I hope you love Vegas as much as I do. And try not to break it."

"To STREETS OF GLITTER!" Kurda gushed, taking a sip.

"To legal gambling!" Paris boomed.

"To my forthcoming revenge upon the Men in Blue." Seba rumbled sinisterly.

"To exotic dancers." Mika snickered.

"To control, the only C we need!" Larten added, smacking Mika upside the head.

"To indoor water parks!" Harkat grinned.

"To ROOM SERVICE!" Arrow roared.

"You stole mine." Kade glared. "Um, to… goddamit now I can't think of one!"

"My turn!" Darren reached for the bottle but Ronnie intercepted. Then stumbled and fell backwards behind a water pipeline where she lay for a moment, making sure the bottle was in one piece.

"Oops, almost dropped it. Clumsy me… Anyway, here's to a night we'll never forget!" she rolled her eyes and stood back up, passing the bottle to Darren.

"Wait, Ronn. You didn't have any." Darren reminded her, passing it back.

"I didn't? Uhm yeah, guess I didn't. I'm not a fan of Cranberry." she shrugged.

"It's your favourite." Kade arched her eyebrows.

"What I meant was, I don't feel like drinking yet." Ronnie continued.

"Bitch, take a sip right now." Kade ordered unsympathetically.

"Fine." Ronnie sighed, taking a gulp and passing it back to her fidgety boyfriend.

"To us all going home in one piece. Alive." Darren gulped anxiously, chugging a bit more than necessary.

"Okay dear, that should be just about enough for you." Ronnie noted, gently taking the bottle and slipping it back in her purse. It was still half-full.

"Now time to Vegas?" Arrow asked hopefully.

"_Now, _time to Vegas." Kade confirmed with a wicked smile.

And with glitter in their hearts and a taste of Cranberry in their mouths, they descended like shadows upon the city that would never be the same again.

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><p>Dun dun duuhhnnn!<p>

Can you guess what's gonna happen? ;) bet you can't. Unless you've seen The Hangover... xD

Review Please :) in theory, it makes us update faster ;)

RXP&SB1


	6. A Morning Of Nope

We're going to skip the part about why we haven't updated in a century ok ok

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><p><em>Ugh… what… ohmygods what happened? My head head hurts… fuck's sakes, everything hurts… where am I? What am I laying on? Well I'm sure not gonna get up because that would probably mean vomiting quite a bit. Don't think opening my eyes would be such a good idea either. What happened last night? Did someone get invested? Was it the Festival of the Undead? Someone's funeral? Oh gods, who died? Like, other than me? Ugh. I feel like I have broken bones somewhere so I probably should see what the hell is going on… okay here I go… eyes opening in 3… 2… 1… AHHH, IT BURRRRRNS. But I can see… the ceiling? When did we get purple tiles on the ceil- OH MY GODS WE'RE IN VEGAS. <em>

Cringing in nausea, Mika Ver Leth waited for memories of a stupendously wild night to come crashing back in waves. The airport, the plane ride, the pink limo, the exploring, the unreal hotel room, and sipping Cranberry Smirnoff on The Palms' rooftop… that was all perfectly clear. But between then and now was a wide gap of emptiness. Judging by the guilty post-party sensations all over his body, he had certainly not returned to his room for a good night's sleep. After all, he was splayed out in the middle of the floor, having apparently used the Persian rug as a Snuggie.

He looked around at the room, it was utterly trashed. No surprises there. The state of a Roman god in the corner was wearing lime green lingerie and a feather boa, there was a Tequila bottle in the aquarium, and Mika was fairly sure the TV had not been upside-down yesterday. He glanced down at his own body - he was still wearing his black jeans and t-shirt, but he'd apparently been gang-beaten by graffiti artists wielding glowy-neon Sharpies. He ran a hand through his hair and was upset to feel a great amount of stickiness. And when he pulled his hand away it seemed to be coated in glitter glue. _How utterly horrendous_, he thought with a shudder. At least it was over. Now if he could just _remember… _

The only other living creature he could see was Kurda, splayed across the fluffy couch. All that was visible was a puff of blonde sticking out from beneath a cushion, and his slender arm dangling from the side. His arm was covered in the same glitter that Mika had found in his own hair, he was holding a hot pink bridal veil, and on his fingerwas a thick silver band with a gigantic diamond rock. How ghastly… wait a second. It was on his wedding finger!

_Oh gods. _Mika thought to himself. _I just knew someone like this would happen. Should have known it would be Barbie. I wonder who the idiot groom is? He's probably halfway to Canada right now if he knows what's good for- _

Then his entire train of thought crashed, his blood ran cold, and his heart rate disappeared. Because on his very own hand, _on the wedding finger, _was… The. Exact. Same. Gods. Awful. Butt. Ugly. Wedding. Ring.

_Don't panic don't panic don't panic-_

Then his eyes landed on the shiny cracked-frame photograph that was lying on the floor right underneath Kurda's hand...

It was him and Kurda standing together on the world's tackiest altar, Kurda wearing a fuchsia gown and Mika wearing a ivory suit.

_I'm the idiot groom._

I'm. The. Idiot. Groom.

_I'm_ -gasp- _the_ -wheeze- _idiot_ -choke- _groom_ -_**HEEELLLLPPPPPPP MEEEE!**_

###

Darren heard a blood-curdling cry and awoke with a start. For a moment, he forgot where he was and his first coherent thought was _Ohmigods it's finally happened. I've been kidnapped and violated. _He came to this conclusion because he found himself lying under what appeared to be a kitchen table, and he himself was wearing nothing but what felt like a shower curtain. But a split second later, he remembered that he had not been kidnapped, he was in fact, on vacation. In Vegas. With his… friends.

Suddenly being kidnapped sounded awfully good.

He stood up slowly. No broken bones or injuries that he could see, although he was feeling distinctly groggy and a bit nauseous. Well, no surprises there really. After all, last night had been…what? Come to think of it, he couldn't remember a thing. What on earth did they put in those Vegas drinks?

Then the horrific scream of terror and fury echoed across the room again, and he bolted out of the kitchen - well, he tried to bolt. He actually ended up running three steps then stumbling the rest, clutching his heaving stomach. He arrived in the living room to see…

Mika and Kurda standing on the couch, with Mika apparently attempting to forcibly remove Kurda's entire right arm. Kurda was putting up a terrific fight, clobbering the side of Mika's face with his Coach wristlet. Arrow was splayed out in a beanbag chair on the other side of the room, chanting "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" Kade was lying face-down next to him, having not yet awoken from her coma of a hangover, apparently. Harkat was cleaning debris out of the aquarium with a look of compassion on his mutilated face. Paris was halfway under a couch, clearly in search of something. And Seba was sitting with his knees pulled up against his chest, looking extremely haunted.

"Darebear!" Ronnie gasped, running up to him and throwing her arms around his tired torso. "How are you feeling?"

He answered by violently emptying his stomach into the nearest wastebasket.

"That's what I thought." she sighed sympathetically, trotting off to fetch him some water. Once he was confident he would not lose his lunch again, Darren stood up to face his companions.

"Guys. _Guys._ Guys! GUYS!" Darren tried, to no avail. Probably because his voice was all but gone, reduced to a pathetic little croak. Ronnie whistled sharply, and each Vampire immediately froze. Kade even woke up. "Thanks." Darren rasped. "Good morning everyone. First order of business, would somebody care to enlighten me as to what happened last night?"

To his shock and horror, everyone in the room frowned in puzzlement, looking just as confused as he was. They glanced around at each other, clearly hoping someone else would have some information. But no one said a word.

"Well, when did we get back here?" he continued hopefully.

"Very very late." Arrow commented.

"Thanks, Sherlock. Well, where did we go last night? Before we started drinking?" Darren tried again.

"I remember… being on… the roof… then that is… all." Harkat supplied. There were murmurs of agreement.

"Good start. I remember that too. So… we were on the roof, then we went to the…?" Darren unsuccessfully racked his brains once again. "Come on, someone must remember _something!_ Seba, did you kill those blue guys you were talking about?"

"I most certainly hope so." Seba replied sombrely.

"Let's get serious here." Ronnie spoke up. "We had a great time, that's pretty obvious. It's normal for things to be a little hazy when you wake up in Vegas, but rack your brains, folks. You all can't have forgotten everything. There's no way."

No one said a word, only looked around miserably wearing expressions with varying degrees of nausea.

"Okay then. Visual evidence; everyone take out your phones. Pictures always jog the memory." Ronnie instructed.

"We all left our phones in the room, remember?" Kade croaked. "Darren made us leave them behind so we wouldn't like, drunk dial the President or something like that. Paris was supposed to be in charge of taking pictures with the iPad."

"WHICH I CANNOT LOCATE!" the old man wheezed in desperation, withdrawing from beneath the couch and proceeding to turn the cushions upside-down.

"Gods help us all." Arrow rolled his eyes.

"Oh trust me, I'm praying like I've never prayed before." Paris whimpered. "Where is my precious? _WHERE_?"

"Oh boo hoo." Mika growled. "YOU'RE NOT THE ONE WHO GOT MARRIED TO KURDA FUCKING SMAHLT AND NOW THE RINGS WON'T COME OFF!_"_

_"It's not my fault!_" Kurda wailed. "Waait a minute… Mika, does this mean… _you want a divorce?" _

Mika's reply was a infuriated and indecipherable roar, but Kurda appropriately took it as a yes.

"I guess it's for the best. It never ends well when best friends get married." the blonde sighed, stretching out melodramatically on the couch.

"Here, I'll get some soap so you can slide those rings off without having to amputate any limbs." Ronnie rolled her eyes.

"How did I get married and I don't even remember it?!" Mika groaned, slowly collapsing into a plush armchair. "To Kurda, of all people? I couldn't have found a stripper or something like normal people do in Vegas? IT HAD TO BE KURDA?!"

"To be fair, Kurda and those stripper people are one in the same when the observer has an alcoholically altered mental state." Paris supplied.

Mika stared at him with many a confused blink, then slowly replied "…Me no comprehendo."

Paris facepalmed. Ronnie returned with soap and began to wiggle Mika's ring off, while Harkat set to work on Kurda. Once their fingers were free, Harkat dropped both rings into a ziploc baggie, then produced his trusty label-maker and labelled the bag _EVIDENCE._

"Good idea, Harkie!" Arrow grinned. "Just like CSI. Hey look! Here's some more evidence." The bald Prince then ripped something off his wrist - closer investigation determined it to be a hospital bracelet. _Las Vegas General Hospital.__Surname: unknown. First name: Arrrrrr. Last name unspecified. Admitted: 12:14 am. Emergency Room. _

"It doesn't say _why _I was admitted." he groaned. "I don't have any broken limbs, I'm not bleeding, no stitches…" he slowly examined every visible inch of his body, then let out a shriek to rival Kurda. "MY TATS! OHMYGODS, MY BEAUTIFUL TATS!"

"WHAT HAPPENED TO THEM?" Kade roared indignantly.

"I'm pretty sure they weren't green yesterday!" Arrow wailed.

"Oh wow." Mika smirked. "Is that what it looks like?"

"Glow in the dark ink! Ohmigosh that is the most amazingest thing I've ever seen in my life, legit." Kurda approved. "I want some. In pink. Obvs."

Ronnie flicked a light switch, the room went dark and all that was visible was a set of lime green arrows.

"Shit." came a deeply upset voice from the midst of the glowing green ink. The lights came back on.

"Okay, everyone check for tattoos." Darren instructed. Everyone else was ink-free, but Seba discovered he was sporting a new accessory - an ankle bracelet. A real-deal top-of-the-line _Celebrity Rehab_-style, glowing-lights ankle monitoring bracelet.

"Seba." Kurda gasped. _"YOU WENT TO REHAB WITHOUT ME!" _

And all hell broke lose. At least, a hungover version of the usual screaming, swirling chaos that tended to follow the Vampires everywhere. But on this particular occasion, it was cut short by a shrill whistle, blown by Darren who was currently hopping up and down on the coffee table.

"Is that a rape whistle, dude?" Arrow inquired. His comment went unheard.

"WHERE. IS. MR. CREPSLEY?" Darren wailed.

Everyone faltered for a moment and glanced around the room awkwardly. Harkat dutifully peeked under the rug.

"He's not… under there."

"HE'S PROBABLY SOMEWHERE NOT BEING MARRIED TO KURDA." Mika howled.

"Don't be insensitive. What if the Vegas Mafia has him? That won't do." said Paris.

"WHAT IF HE HAS JOINED THE BLUE ABOMINATION GROUP?" Seba theorized furiously.

"Then we'll just have to get him back, won't we." Ronnie sighed.

Seba gave her the most skeptical of glares.

"If they have blooded him into their filthy blue ranks, he is no longer an assistant of mine and he can rot with them for all I care. Those insidious cretins are lower than the Vampaneze."

"I'm sure he's missing you too, Seba." Kade smirked.

"Does anyone else feel like we hardcore fucked up last night?" Arrow grumbled. "Like, to the point of no return?"

"The fish… think so." said Harkat darkly, pointing to the tropical aquarium from which he had extracted the spilled bottle of Tequila. Everything was swimming backwards.

"Be positive, guys. I'm sure there's been worse Vegas experiences than ours. Nobody's dead. Yet. Once we find Mr. Crepsley everything will be just fine!" Darren pressed on determinedly.

"As long as we don't have any more… setbacks." Mika grumbled. "And we're not doing ANYTHING till I get my divorce. Got it?"

"IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!" Kurda raged, swatting Mika's shoulder vehemently with his Coach wristlet. "WHAT ABOUT MY NEEDS? WHEN DO I MATTER?"

"STOP RUNNING YOUR MOUTH FOR ONCE IN YOUR LIFE, GODDAMMIT IF I LIKED LISTENING TO WHINING I WOULD'VE MARRIED DARREN!" Mika roared.

"WELL EXCUuUuUuUuUuUuUuUSE ME FOR SPEAKING MY MIND. I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON IN THIS MARRIAGE!" Kurda retaliated.

"NEITHER OF US ARE IN THIS MARRIAGE, KURDA. IT WAS A FUCKING VEGAS WEDDING AND I PROBABLY THOUGHT YOU WERE A STRIPPER."

Kurda stopped in his tracks, turquoise eyes growing huge as tears welled up in them, and finally spilled down his cheeks. He turned on the heel of his powder blue Toms shoe and fled to the nearest door, which was a closet. He stalked inside, gave the door a mighty slam, then all was silent.

"Too far, dude." Ronnie commented to Mika, who had no comeback.

A second later, the door swung open and Kurda re-appeared, looking entirely distracted from the previous moment's outrage. He was glancing nervously back over his shoulder.

"Hey, um, guys? Do all hotel rooms come with complimentary babies? 'Cause that's weird. Even for humans."

"Wait. What." Ronnie started, never having been a fan of little kids, "This was all really funny, but if there's a baby in this room, I don't know if I can handle it."

"I totes swear, there's like the cutest little baby in the closet. But I really think they should be serving no calorie breakfast options before serving babies in the morning." Kurda commented. "Something feels wrong with that, but I can't put my finger on it.

"Kurda must still be hallucinating from whatever he took last night. There can't possibly be a baby." Paris snorted.

"It's free though, right? God help management if I see a fricking baby on our room service bill." Kade contributed.

"If there is... a baby... can I keep him? We can share... clothes..." Harkat suggested enthusiastically.

"WE ARE NOT KEEPING THE BABY? REMEMBER _IT_?" Arrow refuted, recalling the disastrous day when Kurda had turned Vampire Mountain into a daycare and there had almost been multiple deaths.

"I just got married to Kurda, please GODS PLEASE DO NOT LET THAT SOME HOW BE MY BABY. IM NOT READY FOR THAT RESPONSIBILITY. I KNOW IT WILL BE EXTREMELY GOOD LOOKING BUT I CAN'T. DARREN PLEASE TELL ME THERE ISN'T A BABY." Mika cried, gripping his hair into his hands, some of it falling out into sparkly pieces.

"This is an absolute outrage, there is not a baby in the closet. Kurda is seeing things. And I am going to prove it." Paris started, making his wobbily way to the closet. "Oh, good news!"

Arrow smiled, nudging his partner in crime,

"See dude, nothing to worry about."

"I FOUND MY IPAD!" Paris squealed joyfully, "-but it did have a baby attached to it."

Before you could blink, all of the vampires were rushed at the closet gaping at a small baby wrapped in a mass of towels.

"Please tell me that there was something in that joint and I'm hallucinating." Ronnie breathed, gaining a cute grin and giggle from the baby which in turn made her cringe.

"We're going to fucking jail." Kade answered stiffly.

"Look how CUTE his little booties are!" Kurda giggled. "I think they're from A&F kids!"

"There's no way that can be mine or I'm throwing myself into the pit of stakes." Mika heaved.

"We can use my iPad to see if he has some kind of micro-chip." Paris suggested.

"He is not blue, PRAISE THE GODS." Seba screeched.

"Yeah. We were so hardcore fucked up." Arrow confirmed. Harkat took it upon himself to pick the baby up and attach it to himself making a contraption out of the blankets. Even though the child was slightly smaller than he was, his strength made it easy for him to hold the infant and all of the other vampires seemed to look at it as though it was infected with the plague.

"This is really bad, so bad." Ronnie started.

"What if we turned MR. C INTO THE BABY!" Kurda screamed.

"We all just need to calm down and re-evaluate what happened- again." Arrow stated, receiving strange looks from the group.

"That was like, super calm, and something Darren would say. Where is Darren?" Mika asked looking around the room.

"Gods, I don't know let me go look for him." Ronnie answered, trying to run her fingers through her hair, but it was clumped and frizzy and smelled of champagne and bad decisions. She slowly made her way down the hall, but it seemed as soon as she left she was bolting back with the male prince bolting behind her.

"THERES A TIGER IN THE BATHROOM THIS IS SO NOT COOL WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING GUYS I CAN'T."

* * *

><p>If anyone out there is still alive please give us a sign.<p>

If you have tumblr, PLEASE look up festivaloftheundead and participate with us! The fandom is getting back together!

RXP & SB1


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